Have we lost the mystery?

I recently started following another new blog

http://broomclosetwitch.wordpress.com/

which emphasizes the merits of being in the broom closet.  This got me thinking back to the days before having my own apartment, pagan friends and one very understanding but very non pagan boyfriend (his only request was that he never find chicken bones under the bed – no idea what that whole neurosis is about but anyway….).  Those days were filled with secret purchases, secret readings, secret tools and secret rituals.  They were frustrating, irritating and tiresome but damn they were exciting!

How much of the attraction of Paganism, and Witchcraft in particular, has come from that feeling of cloak and dagger secrecy?  How many of us dream of clandestine meetings in silent groves surrounded by hooded figures chanting softly in the moonlight?  Or working spells in the dead of night, candlelight flickering along our skin and incense carrying our desires to the wind?

There was a time when all of this was necessary and I know that we have come a long way in the last couple of decades, for the better.  Most of us can openly practice and discuss our faith, wear clothing or jewelery as a personal expression and perform rituals wherever and whenever we like.  We are no longer feared, avoided or accosted (well for the most part – I wouldn’t recommend wearing a dinner plate sized pentacle anywhere near where I come from).  But I still long for that secrecy that first brought me here, the mystery and wonder that makes me feel like there is more to this world than what we see under the harsh fluorescent lights.

I know it is like asking the world to take a giant leap backwards but sometimes I think I would prefer to live the life of a gnarled old spinster witch.  Living in a tiny cabin, receiving visitors who glance furtively about to ensure that no one sees them then asks timidly for a charm to cure a child or gain a lover.  Or perhaps I did live this life and am simply longing for something that I can’t get back again.  Either way, I can’t shake the desire for excitement, secrecy and mystery.  Am I alone in this?

PhoenixWitch

Introduction

I always find introductions to be very difficult.  How does one sum up their entire existence into a few sentences?  Unfailingly, I fall back into defining myself based on where I grew up.  Hello, my name is Elizabeth and I am from a small town in Newfoundland

My hometown is only about 800 people strong, and that is including the large percentage of men who spend copious amounts of time in Fort Mac.  It is mainly a fishing village and I am a fisherman’s daughter (twice over – my mom fishes too – equal opportunity WOO!).  As a teenager I found small town life to be incredibly stifling.  And, as such, I searched for any way I could to escape.  This led me to the wonderful world of literature.  I read and re-read (and re-read again) everything of interest in our very tiny school library and dreamed of shopping at Chapters on those rare trips to “Town” (Town being St. John’s which was a 4 hour drive away).  As many pagans, I was first drawn to this path because of fiction.  I read everything I could with the words “witch” or “magic” in the title.  I watched movies like The Craft and started to get a glimpse into a world that was much more interesting than the boring Catholic one in which I had been raised.  Again like many pagans, my first foray into “real” pagan books was through Ravenwolf (Jeezy Creezy, we have got to change that and get some teen friendly books out there with a little more substance).

It wasn’t until I got out of my parents house that I could freely practice my faith and even then I found it incredibly lonely.  There were no Pagan stores in St. John’s, there were no pagan groups at that time.  I found a few great websites and forums and read as much as I could (Goddess Bless Chapters website for supplementing the crappy New Age section in the local store).

Moving to Halifax has allowed me to grow in ways I never imagined possible.  I have the freedom to display my books and tools (though I find I am hiding less and less as time goes on) and I have real friends to not only discuss this path with but to actually work with – remind me to blog later about the awesome Samhain ritual we did in a graveyard last year!  I only hope I can continue to learn and grow and that maybe, through this blog or my contributions to other sites, I might be able to help that kid who right now is growing up in a small town and searching for something that finally feels “right”.

PhoenixWitch